Marriage I - God's Design for the Home
Memory Verse: Psal 101:2 I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.
"We believe that the home and marriage are holy and ordained by God; that in marriage the husband and wife become one flesh and establish a home; that the husband is to be the head of the home, the wife an obedient help meet to the husband and the children are to obey and honor their parents."
Sun Eph 6, Heb 12:7
Mon Gen 2:18-25
Tue Heb 13:4, Psalm 68:6
Wed Matt 19:4-6
Thur Prov 31
Fri Eph 5:23-33
Sat Jos 24:15, Prov 5
The Authority of the Bible
What is the Role of the Bible in My Life?
What separates Christianity from any "religion" in the world is its claim to an absolute, written authority from God. Having the Word of God is essential to a Christian's growth in grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. The standards, by which a Christian is to govern his life in every detail, are found in the pages of the Word of God.
This study is to acquaint one with the basics of the Bible and how it relates to their everyday life, so they can begin to understand how God's principles are to guide every facet of their marriage and their daily walk with Jesus Christ. A worthy, and worthwhile task.
I Introduction to the Bible.
It is universally accepted that there are two fundamental sources of human knowledge: reason and experience. Both are essential to the understanding of the world around us. Yet, reason and experience do not answer the most profound and important questions of life. Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? Where is there another source of knowledge that carries us beyond the limitations of human reason and experience. The source that answers these three most important questions of life, is the Holy Bible. It has been put in acronym as: Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth.
The revelation of God to man, called the Holy Bible, teaches us that God has revealed Himself and His commandments in Holy Scripture, or sacred writings. In these Scriptures we have direct access to an infinite and personal God who reveals himself as the Self-Existent-One. The Bible says he created all things for His pleasure. It reveals that we are finite and He is infinite. He is a God who has revealed himself to be omnipotent or all powerful, omniscient or all knowing, omnipresent or present everywhere, and immutable or unchanging. We were created to know such a God and his Scriptures are worthy of our continual study.
God created man in his image and likeness, and gave him distinct responsibilities, so that God could could commune with man. Man disobeyed God, and rebelled against his Creator. As time passed, humanity distanced itself from God, but he revealed himself more and more, and what was revealed he had recorded in sacred writings called Scripture. The Holy Bible reveals all we know about God, His will, His ways, and His purposes for mankind. The Bible, alone, answers those three questions posed by man. At the completion of The New Testament, God's written revelation was complete. Look at that fact carefully worded in Revelation 22:18-19.
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
The Scriptures are unique in several ways:
The Bible is a book which is composed of 66 books written by more than forty authors over a period of more than 2,000 years. It has 69 books of the Old Testament, written before God sent his Only Begotten Son as the Messiah, and 27 books of the New Testament, written after Jesus the Christ1 came to earth. It is totally accurate in its record of history, revelation, and prophecy, the 66 books fitting together as though one man wrote it without one contradiction. The orchestration of the whole Bible is awesome to behold. For example the Bible has 1,118 chapter divisions and the very middle verses of the Bible is Psalms 118:8 "It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."; the very middle words are "The LORD", and the presence of all caps indicates this is the very personal name of God.
The purpose of Scripture in life and in marriage.
The Scriptures have been inspired and preserved by God that we might have an inerrant (without error) and infallible (never failing) guide that will bring us to salvation and daily sanctification. Remember that man was created in the image and likeness of God so that he could commune man, and man could commune with God, which is commonly called fellowship. While here on this earth man can fulfill God's purposes of fellowship, giving glory to God in every way. The Bible puts it "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." (ref Deut 6:5, 30:6, Joshua 22:5, Psalm 31:23, Matt 22:37, Mark 12:30, and Luke 10:27) That is our purpose in life. That is our purpose in marriage. That is our purpose in our home.
The Scriptures say of themselves in 2Tim 3:16-17:
"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works."
In this Scripture the teachings of the Bible fall into four distinct purposes. They are profitable for:
1) Doctrine = What is right.
2) Reproof = What is not right.
3) Correction = How to get right.
4) Instruction in Righteousness = How to stay right.
Why? "... that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works" (3:17)
Some Myths about the Bible, from the cartoon above, are
>> MYTH - The Bible is just another religious book written by men.
>> MYTH - The Bible can only be understood by "clergy" after years of formal education.
>> MYTH - In order to know the true meaning of the Bible you must know Greek or Hebrew.
>> TRUTH - God's Word is the best Marriage Manual you could read.
>> It is written by God, and He says so.
>> It is understandable by all, it only takes His Spirit
>> It is perfectly accurately in English, in the King James Bible.
>> "That is your interpretation!" does not apply when reading the Holy Bible. Its exact interpretation, word for word, was put into English by 77 unparalleled linguistic scholars over a period of 7 years. They were sponsored, paid, and protected by King James , a King of England, and finished their translation work in 1611 AD. It is the Authorized Translation, the King James Bible.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Reason and experience do not answer the three most important questions in life. What are these three questions?
There is an inerrant source for human knowledge, it is not reason or experience, what is it, and its acronym?
The inspired teachings of Scripture have four major purposes. List them and explain.
What three truths debunk the three major myths about the Holy Bible?
The promise of God for life, marriage and home.
The whole premise for the next few lessons on the home, all the promises made, all the instructions given, are from the Word of God, The Holy Bible. In marriage one needs to make a commitment to their mate for life, and a commitment to order their home and their life in accordance to God's instructions. A home can then be a paradise here on earth. These instructions are outlined in the next few lessons. With such a life time commitment, examine some of the promises that God makes:
(Please fill in blanks using only the King James, Authorized Version of the Bible)
Josh 1:7 Only be thou ______________ and very ______________, that thou mayest observe to do according to _______ _______ _______, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest ______________ whithersoever thou goest.
8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt _____________________ therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way ______________, and then thou shalt have good________.
Psalm 1:1 ______________ is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
2 But his delight is in the _______ _______ _______ LORD; and in his law doth he ______________ day and night.
3 And he shall be like a ______________ planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall _______.
Matt 7:24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and ___________ _______, I will liken him unto a
wise man, which built his ______________ upon a rock:
John 13:17 If ye know these things, ______________ are ye if ye do them.
There are a myriad of other Scriptures that spell out the promises for following God's plan in your marriage. As you "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." you can have the peaceful, joyful, happy home that God intends for man.
The key is simple:
The cartoon above shows God's plan for your home; 1) A lifetime commitment, 2) daily Bible study and learning; 3) daily prayer together; 4) Regular Worship and Bible Teaching (in a Bible believing Church) and 5) hard work with regular maintenance.
Marriage is Holy and Ordained of God
It was in the Garden of Eden that God himself planned the idea of marriage. Get a KJV Bible and fill in the blanks in these verses:
Gene 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be ______________; I will make him an ______________ ______________ for him.
The word 'meet' is not common in our English, an older dictionary gives an appropriate synonym of "appropriate." Substitute that synonym in the phrase below:
I will make him an help ________________ for him.
God did not make woman as a help-mate, but as a help-meet.
God made the kind of man who needed a wife. God knew the need of man's heart, soul, and mind, and so God declared it was not goof for man to live without a wife. God made a woman, Eve, because she would fulfill the natural longings and fit in with the natural and normal happy life of Adam. Marriage was ordained by God.
God intended that a marriage union be indivisible, till death do us part. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." The sacred marriage vow provides a physical, emotional and spiritual security between a man and a woman that cannot be achieved in any other sort of agreement. That three dimensional security is to permeate the stable home, and makes it the only suitable platform for child rearing. The term 'divorce' is introduced in the law of God only because of the hardness of man's heart. (Mark 10:4-9) It destroys the physical, emotional, and spiritual security in a home and it is never the optimal solution. Matt 19:4-6 is emphatic "...they twain shall be ______________ ____________. (Matt 19:5) In that light, divorce, being all to common today is against God's precepts. Matthew 19:6 says: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let
______ ________ put ______________.
Why does one marry?
The 3x3 Essentials
We need to be Loved,
We need to Love.
We need to be Significant,
We need to give Significance.
We need Security,
We need to provide Security.
That is: emotional love,
love on a spiritual plane,
and physical love.
It is significance emotionally,
and physically significance.
It is secure emotionally,
and secure physically.
Examine carefully, then,
three Biblical outcomes for, or purposes in, marriage. Consciously
understanding these outcomes makes good inroads to produce a marriage
that is a taste of paradise one earth.
Why does one marry?
The model here shows three human needs on three different levels, making this "The 3by3 Essentials" for a joyful life. Certainly, the Bible assures us that the Lord Jesus Christ can meet all our needs on all three levels. But God ordained and organized marriage to meet these 3by3 essentials for a man and a woman. Child rearing is intended in a home where these 3by3 essentials thrive without hypocrisy.
The need to love and be loved.
What is True Love?
Love is the mental, emotional, and physical, self-less desire to fill the needs of another. Love is NOT a fuzzy way of feeling, NOR is it something you fall into; it is a command.
Mutual love is the selfless concern two people have for each other. There are four kinds of love in the Bible and all four should be found in a functional home. There is the Greek word eros, for physical love, storge, for parental and family affections, phillia, for human affection or friendship, and there is agape, for self giving,selfless love, or the purest of love.
This love in marriage must have a depth that reaches through physical, emotional, and then spiritual dimension. Even when this love is unrequited it is to be pure, but when it is reciprocated it can bring unmitigated joy into the marriage.
The need to be significant and to give significance.
What is Significance? One is significant when there is an ongoing concern for where they are at what they are doing, what they are thinking, and what they are feeling. Imagine the loneliness of going through life being significant to no one. Imagine the selfishness of going through life with no one else significant to you.
Mutual significance has been described as, "Having a significant other, or a soul-mate." There are a myriad ways that one shows physical, emotional and spiritual significance. There are as many ways to neglect significance. Neglected significance evaporates into nothingness.
This significance in marriage must have a depth that reaches through physical, emotional, and then spiritual dimension. Even when this significance is unrequited it is to be pure, but when it is reciprocated it can bring unmitigated joy into the marriage.
The need to be secure and to provide security.
What is Security. In a promise, it is, "I will never leave thee, I will never forsake thee1." And therein, never means never.
God ordains a marriage and a home where a man and a woman leave the security of their father and their mother and cleave together to become one flesh. They, alone, must now provide the genuine security to one another. Physical security is a place to dwell, and physical protection from a hostile world. Emotional security is place to feel, and an emotional protection of those feelings from any hostile environment. Spiritual security is place to be a free spirit, and a spiritual protection of that spirit from the spirit of Godlessness.
This security in marriage must have a depth that reaches through physical, emotional, and then spiritual dimension. These three dimension are secured through the promise, yea the vow, "I will never leave thee, I will never forsake thee." You might attain a common-law marriage without the vow, but you will not attain a Godly marriage and a Godly home without the marriage vow.
1For those unfamiliar with careful English, "thee" is a first person singular pronoun, and "you " is a first person plural pronoun. The Holy Bible carefully distinguishes between the singular and the plural, and it behooves us to do the same, especially where it concerns marriage. The slovenly English of modernist bibles makes every first person pronoun plural, regardless what the Holy Bible says. Learn your "thees and thous", it is worth the effort for the exactness of God's Holy Words.