Marriage II - The Role of the Wife

Memory Verse: Eph 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

"We believe that the home and marriage is holy and ordained by God; that in marriage the husband and wife become one flesh and establish a home; that the husband is to be the head of the home, the wife an obedient helpmate to the husband and the children are to obey and honor their parents."

God's order in the Home, - God's role for the Woman

It is interesting that God always begins his instructions on the Husband - Wife relationship with instruction to the wife. In God's Word the woman is the completor of man. The success or failure of a home hinges on how well the wife fills the role of completor. Ladies, please examine this lesson carefully, and Gentlemen, you need to be familiar with this lesson because God holds you responsible for the leadership in every aspect of your home.

This study is to aquatint you with the basics of the role of the woman in God's creation, in accordance with God's Word. It conflicts with what our society (especially our media) has pumped into our heads since our birth, so clear your mind and pay particularly close attention to the Scriptures used.

Role of a Woman in Creation

Gene 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is _______ ______________ that the man should be alone; I will make him an ______________ ______________ for him.

Get a Dictionary and look up the word 'MEET'

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was _______ ______________ an ______________ ______________ for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and ______________ of my ______________: she shall be called ______________, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man ______________ his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one ______________. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Woman was made for man. Literally as a completor of man, as an appropriate help for the man. Consequently a woman will find fulfillment and completion when she fills the role or accomplishes the purpose that God made her for. Recognize that a woman filling the role that God made her for will find complete fulfillment and peace that can be found in no other way. A woman may say that this kind of submission to a man is not in my nature, and be absolutely correct. The age old question here is "Do you want to simply do what is in your nature, or do you want to follow God's plan for your life, and your home? " The two do not line up. I can highly recommend the following of God's plan, especially when it counters our nature and the world's advice.

Wives be Subject to Husbands

Every time God gives orders to husbands and wives about their treatment of each other in the Bible, He speaks to wives first then to husbands. When He commands fathers and children about their duties to each other, He commands children first, then fathers. He commands servants first, then masters, subjects first then rulers. . . . God wants no excuses for a wife who does not want to obey her husband or to children who will not obey their father. Eph 5:22 is the heart of this teaching, though it is repeated several times throughout scriptures.

Wives, ______________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Since this word is often ugly in our society, get a dictionary and look it up: SUBMIT

It may be helpful to write in the margin of your Bible here:

Submission is the overwhelming

consideration of the needs of others.

Christians are told to submit one to another.

A woman begins down a road of rebellion in the home by first finding several excuses to disregard this command. The home has a ruler and subjects. The Husband is appointed by God, as the ruler, the wife the subject.

People always have plausible excuses for not doing right. Women give many reasons for not being subject to their husbands as God commands. They are all excuses, whereby we call God's plan, God's Word, untrue or ineffective.

It is often insisted upon that on these modern days of liberty and equality, no woman could keep her self-respect and live in a home and NOT be counted an equal with her husband in authority. But the same woman, who objects to being under the authority of her husband attends clubs of which she if not the president. She works in a Church of which she is not the bishop. She is a citizen of a government where others rule over her. .. . . Man too cannot avoid authority over them. The rebellion of a wife against her husband (of her taking command in his silence) is exactly the same spirit as the rebellion of a disobedient child against his father, of an incorrigible pupil against the teacher, as a criminal against the government; it is lawlessness pure and simple. In any government, business corporation, or home there must be those in authority. God has appointed the husband and the father in the home, as the head, and the wife, the weaker vessel, as the help meet.

In his book "The First Years of Forever", Dr. Ed Wheat outlines these scriptural areas of "How to Love your husband."

A. In Genesis you are "His Help Meet". your Husbands self confidence rests in your hands for safe keeping. See Genesis 2:18-22

B. In Proverbs 31:10-31, "His Trusted Partner." These 22 verses start with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet and contain vast wisdom for a wife.

Prov 31:10 Who can find a ______________ woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth ______________ ______________ in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do _______ ______________ and not evil all the days of her life. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with ______________; and in her tongue is the law of ______________. 27 She looketh well to the ______________ of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he ______________ her.

C. In the Song of Solomon "His Darling, His Love" Observe the example of the Shulamite. If you would learn how to fuel the fires of an ongoing love affair with your husband, study her behavior and responses. Analyze them. You will find that her husband's love making thrilled her, and she let him know it" She focuses her eyes and conversation on him when they were together, complimenting his appearance, expressing appreciation for his skillful lovemaking, and always communicating her high respect for him as a man.

D. In 1 Timothy "The Guide of His Household"

1Tim 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, ______________ the ______________, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

E. In Titus "His Loving Wife" Titu 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be ______________, to ______________ their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be ___________, ______________, keepers at home, good, ______________ to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

F. In Ephesians "His Beautiful Wife" Ephe 5:22 Wives, ______________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 3 For the husband is the ______________ of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

G. In 1 Peter "His Beautiful Wife" 1Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in ______________ to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste ______________ coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that ______________ adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of ______________; 4 But let it be the ______________ man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a ______________ and ______________ spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him ______________: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

God Will Bless You as You follow His Plan

A Bold Word about Womans Dress and Modesty

There was a time, just a few years ago, when preaching against worldly dress was heard from fundamentalist and independent Baptist pulpits across the land. No longer. All too often, any kind of preaching about clothing has become an oddity, an embarrassment. The resistance of the rock & roll culture to such preaching is so pervasive that many pastors have decided to ignore matters of dress. To do so, though, is to ignore the fact that clothing is a language. . . .

In the book How to Marry the Man of Your Choice by Margaret Kent (New York: Warner Books, 1987), the secular author instructs women how to use clothing to "manipulate men." She recommends body hugging skirts and revealing blouses: "Don't let the power of clothing pass you by, for it can be a major asset in attracting men. … stir his sexual imagination without satisfying his curiosity about your body. … To avoid being a nerd, wear clothing that follows the natural form of your body" (pp. 29, 32, 33). The author observes that "shirt-type blouses with buttons on the front" send a signal of "easy access" (p. 35). As for pants on women, the author states that "jeans are likely to get a positive response because they are snug and outline the body; they also represent casualness" (p. 36). (My thanks to John Shrader for the quotes from this book.) This reminds us that pants on women are wrong not only because they are unisex garments, but because they are inherently immodest. Secular advertisements leave no doubt about what part of the body is emphasized by women's jeans. A woman in pants is either gross or sexually appealing, depending upon her figure. A woman in pants is never as modest and feminine as she can be in a proper dress.

Another clothing style that is immodest is SLIT SKIRTS AND DRESSES which are so popular in the female fashion industry today. The obvious purpose for this fashion is to tease men with the flashing effect that is created by the movement of her legs. It is strangely enticing. Even if the slit is below the knee the effect is very sensual. A few months ago we asked a group of young Bible college men if they were tempted sexually by slit skirts, and every one of them admitted that they are. This should speak volumes to Christian women and young ladies to avoid this immodest fashion. . . . The clothing industry is controlled by unsaved people who are in open rebellion against the laws of God.

Let's make a clear difference between ourselves and the world. Let's stand in the old paths. Those who are giving up high, plain standards of holiness in dress and are moving closer and closer to the fashions of the world should remember that the world is moving farther and farther from God's Word. May 9, 2001 (David Cloud, Fundamental Baptist Information Service, P.O. Box 610368, Port Huron, MI 48061-0368, fbns@wayoflife.org)