Marriage II - The Role of the Wife

Memory Verse: Eph 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Daily Bible Readings
Sun     Gen 3:1-16
Mon    Numbers 30
Tue    Psalm 128
Wed    Prov 5:15-21
Thur    Song 1:1-2:17
Fri    Rom 7:1-6
Sat    Song 3:1-4:16

"We believe that the home and marriage is holy and ordained by God; that in marriage the husband and wife become one flesh and establish a home; that the husband is to be the head of the home, the wife an appropriate help to the husband and the children are to obey and honor their parents."

God's order in the Home, - God's role for the Woman

God begins his instructions on marriage with instructions to the wife. In God's creation account the woman is the completer of man. The success or failure of a home hinges on how well the wife fills that role of completer. Ladies, please examine this lesson carefully, and Gentlemen, you need to be familiar with this lesson because God holds you responsible for the leadership in every aspect of your home.

This study is to acquaint you with the basics of the role of the woman in God's creation, in accordance with God's Word. It conflicts with what our society (especially our media) has pumped into our heads since our birth, so clear your mind and pay particularly close attention to the Scriptures for this study.

Role of a Woman in Creation

(Please fill in blanks using only the King James, Authorized Version of the Bible)

Gene 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is _______ ______________ that the man should be alone; I will make him an ____________ ____________ for him.

In the previous lesson we explored an appropriate synonym for "meet." Write it in the sentence below: The woman is to be an ____________________ help to the man.

The Scripture continues:

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was _______ ______________ an ______________ ______________ for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and ______________ of my ______________: she shall be called ___________, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man ______________ his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one ______________. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

The woman was made for man. Literally as a completer of man, or as an appropriate help for the man. Consequently a woman will find fulfillment and completion when she fills the role, and accomplishes the purpose for which God made her. A woman filling the role that God made her for will find complete fulfillment and peace that can be found in no other way. A woman may say that this kind of submission to a man is not in her nature, and she would be correct. Man (mankind) has a fallen nature and does not naturally do what God intended for the creature made in God's image and likeness.. The age old question here is "Do you want to simply do what is in your nature, or do you want to follow God's plan for your life, and your home? " The two do not naturally line up. When God's plan goes counter to our nature and contrary to the world's advice, it is all the more important to trust and obey.

Wives be Subject to Husbands

When God gives orders to husbands and wives about their treatment of each other in the Bible, He speaks to wives first then to husbands. When He commands fathers and children about their duties to each other, He commands children first, then fathers. He commands servants first, then masters; subjects first then rulers. God leaves no room for the excuses of the wife who does not want to obey her husband, or the children who will not obey their father. Eph 5:22 is the heart of this teaching, which is repeated several times throughout Scriptures.

Wives, ______________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Since this word is often ugly in our society, it may be helpful to write in the margin of your Bible:

Submission is the overwhelming

consideration of the needs of others.

Note also that Christians are to submit one to another. (vr.21)

A woman begins down a road of rebellion in the home by first finding several excuses to disregard God's command. The home has a leader and its subjects. The Husband is appointed by God, as that ruler, the wife is to be subject to her husband.

People always have plausible excuses for not doing right. Women give many reasons for not being subject to their husbands as God commands. They are excuses, whereby we call God's plan, and God's Holy Word, untrue or ineffective.

The Bible and the Role of the Woman.

The Bible is quite emphatic about the role of the woman. This emphasis is applied collaterally in the home, in the church and in the society. The rebellion against God's authority is exposed collaterally with rebellion in the home, rebellion in the church, and rebellion in society. Comprehending God's emphasis on the role of the woman in the home requires that we see it universally applicable in the church and in the Godly society.

God's role for woman is emphasized in, and illustrated in three particular commands of God. Woman are not to lead in public prayer. The letter to Timothy, explaining how to behave in the Church (1Tim 3:15)is very clear on this point. Leadership in prayer is for men not women. "I will therefore men (males) pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with embroidered hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array; but which becometh woman professing Godliness) with good works" (1Tim 2:8).

The phrase "in like manner" does not connect the woman's role to leading in public prayer, it connects the woman's modest apparel, shamefacedness and sobriety to doing it "without wrath and doubting." Also often taken out of context from this text is the broidered hair, gold and pearls. This Scripture is about the kind of attitude a woman professing Godliness should have. It has been used by some to forbid women from wearing makeup or jewelry. Such a legalistic stance gives little thought to the actual context of this command. The context teaches who should and should not be leading in prayer.

Secondly, women should not be in a position to teach a man. Again this letter to Timothy is emphatic. "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor usurp authority over a man, but to be in silence" (1Tim 2:11-12). Again, this Scripture might easily be taken out of context. The context clarifies who is to be doing the teaching. The scoffer dismisses this whole text because a woman keeping silence is beyond anything they could imagine. Women often roll their eyes when this Scripture is read because they refuse to acknowledge the context and its truth. Women should not teach men, the Holy Bible says so very emphatically.

Pause here to understand God's threefold reasoning behind these two commands. "For Adam was first formed, then Eve" (2:13). God first resorts back to his purpose in creation. The woman was created to be an appropriate help and companion to the man. "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (2:14). The woman is a whole different emotional and hormonal package than the man. One is built for confrontational leadership decisions. One is built for non-confrontational compromised solution finding, and she is called the weaker vessel. (1Pet 3:7) It is not politically correct to say any of that but is is certainly Biblically correct. You must choose which correctness you will pursue, and there is not a non-confrontational compromised solution between the two.

The threefold in the chord of God's reasoning, reasoning which refuses women from leading men in prayer and in teaching men in class, is found in the next verse. "Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety" (2:15). Being "saved" in this verse has nothing to do with a soul's salvation. In the Holy Bible soul salvation is only done by grace through faith; not of works (Eph 2:8-9), when we "confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him (the Lord Jesus Christ) from the dead" (Rom 10:9). then, and only then, can one have soul salvation. This verse in the letter to Timothy is referencing where the woman's greatest value is, what her function in life is, and what her emotional and physiological function was designed to do. A woman was designed for motherhood. A woman, who will accept that role by faith and charity, and holiness with sobriety, has her perfected place, knows her place, and stays in the role for which God created her.

When God revealed to Joshua, his role for his life, he said, "This book of the law shall not depart out of they mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and nigh, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thous chalt make they way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success" (Joshua 1:8). This is the woman's role as defined by God in His Holy Word. Submission to that role will bring posterity and good success. Rebellion against it is the norm for our society, and unfortunately for our church leaders. Choosing it for your home will bring God's blessing.

The Bible further clarifies that the woman should not prophecy. Prophesying, in the Bible, is not foretelling the future. Prophesying is the receipt and delivery of a message from the Lord. Today, anyone who can read and has God's sixty six books of completed revelation, has received a message from the Lord. Set aside the shenanigans of Benny Hin, Oral Roberts, Charles Taze Russel, and Joseph Smith, and recognize them as charlatans who claim to receive extra-Biblical revelations. Those who would take a Bible and proclaim "Thus saith the Lord," are prophesying. And according to the Word of God, women are refused that position.

The Church at Corinth was having problems with this prophesying issue. They did not yet have the 27 books of the New Testament Scripture and in Paul's letter of reproof women where forbidden to prophesy or to speak in tongues. "Let your women keep silence in the churches; for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law" (1Cor 14:34) This whole discourse on prophesying, and the woman's role, begins back in chapter eleven, but here it concludes very concisely, "And if they (women who wish to prophesy) will learn anything, let them speak to their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the Church" (14:35). This Scripture is dogmatic, and the principle that women are to know their position, is equally dogmatic. "But I would have you to know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" (11:3).

Many think this Scripture in 1Cor 11, is about whether a woman should wear a head covering in Church. It is not. It is about whether we will recognize God's plan and order in life. The woman is not to be the leader, she is not to prophesy, she is not to lead in prayer, and she is not to teach men. These three commands of God are justified in that 1) Adam was first formed, then Eve, 2) Adam was not deceived, the woman was, 3) the head of the woman is man (male), and 4) the woman has the physical, psychological, and emotional character for mothering, not for leadership.

Those who respond to these scriptures with the unbelievers cliche, "That is just your interpretation" are simply positioning themselves to reject God's role for the woman and press toward the more rebellious "woman libber's" position. Those who acknowledge the truths of these Scriptures, but then contend that it just doesn't work for them, need to acknowledge Christ's advice, "If ye1 know these things, happy are ye if ye do them" (John 13:17). There are also many who acknowledge these truths and pretend to abide by them, but their heart is not in it. Such are wolves in sheep's clothing. And wolves in sheep's clothing, especially when they live in the Church parsonage, do appreciable harm to the cause of Christ.

A woman who will acknowledge this as her role and goal for her life, "if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety," can indeed have all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ" (Eph 1:3). Marriage and home are meant to be a taste of paradise on Earth. A wife who takes up God's will and calling for her life is an essential first step in achieving that paradise.

One Role in Home, Church, and Society

God does not have three sets of separate roles for the creatures made in his image and likeness, one for the home, one for the Church and one for society. God's rules apply equally in the Christian house, the Church house, and the commercial house of business, and the White House of government. Where one has an ability to sway the world back to God's ways they should. The ways and commands of Christ are rejected by the world, yea the world is in an absolute rebellion against them, they actively hate them, and Him. Our Lord Jesus said it would be that way. Sadly, it is the same in the "Christian Church" so called. A "Church" that refuses to acknowledge and adopt the Bible truths about the role of women is to be labeled "apostate", and a believer is to follow Christ's command to "come out from among them and be ye separate" (2Cor 6:17). When pressed by society to work with or for the woman which are errantly put into leadership, a believer must make a decision. The decision is highlighted by Solomon between Proverbs 26:4 and 26:5. If you cannot remain in the situation and uphold Romans 12:18, "If it be possible, as much as little in you, live peaceably with all men." If you are becoming a belligerent, hard to work with, "I am right and you are wrong", pompous idiot, you should repent, or leave and live where you can put on Christ and be a Christian. There is no singular right answer that fits every situation. In the military I have worked with and for women who were just ignorant of everything Godly, women who were pompous and ungodly, and women who knew God's role for them and were, as best as they were able, in a military leadership role, pretending to conform. You can be the salt of the earth in the worst of the world. Know and purpose that you will.

The First Years of Forever

In his book "The First Years of Forever", Dr. Ed Wheat outlines these scriptural areas of "How to Love your husband."

A. In Genesis you are "His Help Meet". your Husbands self confidence rests in your hands for safe keeping. See Genesis 2:18-22

B. In Proverbs 31:10-31, "His Trusted Partner." These 22 verses start with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet and contain vast wisdom for a wife.

Prov 31:10 Who can find a ______________ woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth ______________ ______________ in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do _______ ______________ and not evil all the days of her life. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with ______________; and in her tongue is the law of ______________. 27 She looketh well to the ______________ of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he ______________ her.

C. In the Song of Solomon "His Darling, His Love" Observe the example of the Shulamite. If you would learn how to fuel the fires of an ongoing love affair with your husband, study her behavior and responses. Analyze them. You will find that her husband's love making thrilled her, and she let him know it" She focuses her eyes and conversation on him when they were together, complimenting his appearance, expressing appreciation for his skillful lovemaking, and always communicating her high respect for him as a man.

D. In 1 Timothy "The Guide of His Household"

1Tim 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, ______________ the ______________, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

E. In Titus "His Loving Wife" Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be ______________, to ______________ their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be ___________, ______________, keepers at home, good, ______________ to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

F. In Ephesians "His Submissive Wife" Eph 5:22 Wives, ______________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 3 For the husband is the ______________ of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

G. In 1 Peter "His Beautiful Wife" 1Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in ______________ to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste ______________ coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that ______________ adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of ______________; 4 But let it be the ______________ man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a ______________ and ______________ spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him ______________: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

God Will Bless You as

You follow His Plan

A Bold Word about Dress and Modesty

There was a time, just a few years ago, when preaching against worldly dress was heard from fundamentalist and independent Baptist pulpits across the land. Some went extreme and attempted to enforce some overbearing rules about women and pants. Today, any kind of preaching about clothing has become an oddity, and the pants issue is an open embarrassment. Justly so. The resistance of the rock & roll culture to such preaching is so pervasive that many pastors have decided to ignore matters of dress altogether. To do so, however, is to ignore the fact that clothing is a language, and it communicates.

Two things might be communicated by improper dress and appearance. One must be careful about modesty, and one must be careful about gender.

In the book How to Marry the Man of Your Choice by Margaret Kent (New York: Warner Books, 1987), the secular author instructs women how to use clothing to "manipulate men." She recommends body hugging skirts and revealing blouses: "Don't let the power of clothing pass you by, for it can be a major asset in attracting men. … stir his sexual imagination without satisfying his curiosity about your body... To avoid being a nerd", Kent continues, "wear clothing that follows the natural form of your body" (pp. 29, 32, 33). Kent observes that "shirt-type blouses with buttons on the front" send a signal of "easy access" (p. 35). As for pants on women, the author states that "jeans are likely to get a positive response because they are snug and outline the body; they also represent casualness" (p. 36). This reminds us that clothes can be be inherently immodest. The obvious purpose for these fashion is to tease men.

Gender confounding is also a major emphasis of the world's rebellion against God's commandments. Women dressing like men is the emphasis. Men dressing like women is an effeminate issue which is not as prominent in society, at least not while testosterone levels are maintained. But the drive for women wearing pants, pant suits, men's shirts, ties, and butch hair is loud and brazen.

1Do not be afraid of the "ye"s in the Holy Bible. They are the simply the first person plural pronoun differentiated from the first person singular pronoun "thee."