Marriage III - The Role of the Husband
Memory Verse: 1Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
This study is to acquaint you with the basics of the responsibilities of the husband in God's creation and plan for the home in accordance with God's word. If conflicts with what our society (especially our media has pumped into our heads since our birth, so clear your mind and pay particular attention to the Scriptures used.
The Husband The Head of The Home
Let's begin in the book of beginnings, Genesis. Read Genesis 2:15-18 and complete these 4 easy questions:
1) Why did God put man in this world, particularly in the Garden of Eden, (vr 15) to ______________ it and to ______________ it.
2) When God laid out the rules did he give them to the man or the woman? (vr 16) " And the LORD God commanded _______ ______________, saying,...."
3) What was the penalty for disobeying God? (vr 17) " for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt______________ _______.
4) In God's perfect creation what was the first 'not good' thing that is mentioned? (vr 18) And the LORD God said, It is _______ ______________ that the _______ ______________ _______ ______________; I will make him an help ______________ for him.
Notice now God's curse because of sin and God's provision for life under the curse. Let's look at four parts of this curse and how Christ is our freedom from its effects.
The curses are found in Gen 3:9-24. In verse 17 God said Thou shalt not eat of it: ______________ is the ground for thy sake; in ______________ shalt thou eat of it _______ _______ ______________ of thy life; But in Christ Jesus, we can have Joy unspeakable and full of Glory. In Curse sorrow, In Christ Joy. In verse 19 God said "In the ______________ of thy _____________________ shalt thou eat bread, But in Christ a hard days work brings peace and contentment and 1 Cor 15:58 says be ye steadfast, unmoveable, always ______________ in the ______________ of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your ______________ is not in vain in the Lord. In verse 19 we will "return unto the ______________; for out of it wast thou taken:. But in Christ look at what it says in 1 Cor 15:55 O death, where is thy ______________? O grave, where is thy ______________? 56 The sting of death is _______; and the strength of sin is the law.
57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
So Likewise is there a curse for a woman in verse 16 and it is thy ______________ shall be to thy husband, and he shall ______________ over thee.
Likewise Christ does not take us out of this curse but gives grace that our living in it can bring greater peace and contentment. To try to over-rule it, to ignore it, or to disprove this curse is equivalent to truing to over-rule the sorrow in this world, or ignore mans need to work for life, or remove death from this world. No,... for a man to rule in the marriage is God's plan for this life, as plainly as man must work, sorrow and die. Or society strives to disprove all four of these curses, God's word teaches us instead to live wisely considering each one.
Is it your choice to follow this plan of God's Word? ______________
The Bible clearly and prominently declares that the husband is to be the head of the home. For the husband is the ______________ of the wife, even as Christ is the ______________ of the Church. (Eph 5:22-23)
To say that this teaching is now old-fashioned and untrue, to day that men and women are equal in the home, is to say that you know more than the God of the Bible.
In the home the man is the image of God. 1Cor 11:7 say's For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the ______________ and ______________ of God: but the woman is the ______________ of the man.
The man is to rule in the home. A bishop or pastor is to be an example to us and I Tim 3:4,5 says he is to be ''One that ______________ ______________ his own house, haveing his children in ______________ with all gravity. How the husband rules his home can consume hours of discussion, but God in Ephe 5:25 intends that it be with a divine ______________. As seen here 'Husbands, ______________ ______________ ______________ , even as Christ also loved the church, vr 28 says So ought men to ____________ their ____________ as their own ___________. In Colo 3:19 he adds and be not ______________ against them.
1Pet 3:7 tells husbands to dwell with them according to knowledge, giving ______________ unto the wife, as unto the ______________ vessel, Note that love here, is not treated as something you feel, not something we fall into or fall out of , it is a command of God.
God tells the wife to be subject to the husband,... woe be to the man that shirks his responsibility of love and leadership after God has so emphatically commanded your wife to be your follower.
The Husband the Wisdom of the Home.
In 1 Pet 3:7 we see that Husbands are to do several things. Note: Likewise ye husbands, ______________ with them. Listen, that means you should hang around the wife, not the 'guy', not the fishing hole or hunting camp, DWELL with the wife. Look further,... ye husbands dwell with them according to _____________________. Wow, not only are you to hang around your wife,
you are to have some UNDERSTANDING of her. How many wives have said of their husbands "You don't understand me!" I want you to know she is right. It takes effort to understand and be understanding. Buy or barrow and then read the book by Dr. Dobson, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Know About Women." It can help you a lot in this area because (if you have not yet noticed) women think and act different than men do. (Note that in general Dr. Dobson has a dangerous mixture of some Bible and some psychology (man's wisdom). Use great caution for any Biblical doctrines he totes outside of his marriage council and child rearing advice, he is not Baptist.
Continuing in verse 7 notice that the husband is to be giving ______________ unto the wife, as unto the ______________ vessel, Get a dictionary and define "HONOR" DEF ______________
Give four synonyms for RESPECT _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________
Not only are you to honor her as the weaker vessel, but as being _____________________ together of the grace of _____________________; Thus recognize that before God, as an heir of eternal life, she is your equal. She needs to be honored as a fellow heir before God.
Now to ignore this instruction is to destroy your fellowship with God, and cause that your prayers ARE hindered. Read the rest of this chapter (1Peter 3) it deals with unity, compassion, love vr 8, with fighting vr 9, prayers heard vr 12, long-suffering vr 14, sanctification vr 15, and a good conscience vr 16. All these have a direct application in your wisdom as a Husband, the head and leader of the home.
The Husband the Example of the Home
In Titus 2 Paul is exhorting Titus to speak things which become sound doctrine. He then lists things for 'matured' men to have in their behavior. Get your dictionary so you capture the exact meaning of each of these behavior patterns you are to have as a husband. Titu 2:2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. DEFINE:
sound in faith, __________________________________________________________________
sound in charity, _________________________________________________________________
sound in patience. _______________________________________________________________
The Husband, The Spiritual Leader in the Home and In the Church
Look at 1Cor 14:29-35 and lets draw some conclusions about this portion of Scripture. First look at vr 29 and get the subject of this section firmly in your mind. It says Let the ______________ speak two or three, and let the other judge. 1Cor 14:29 We need to understand that a prophet is one who is told something by God, (today, only from His Word) and then stands and says "thus saith the Lord". In the Word of God, a prophet is one who gets instruction from God, and then says, per God's bidding, "Thus Saith The Lord". Many times they were given future events that God would do and were told to tell others about them, but a prophet is still only one that has a communication from God, and then communicates that to others. Now look at verse 34.
1Cor 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
Are women to be standing up and declaring "Thus Saith the Lord?" ______________
If the Bible is true and comes from God, then Women are not to prophecy!
Now look at verse 35. Who is to teach what the Lord has said in the home? ______________
Husband you are to be the spiritual teacher, the spiritual councilor, the spiritual advisor in the home! May God empower you to fill the role that God has for you.
Study the principle in Numbers 30:13-15. If the husband remains silent in the home, or allows the wife to rule the home (against God's direction), or if he does not provide the spiritual leadership in
the home, Who does God hold responsible? _____________________
Three Essential Characteristics of a Leader, A Husband
You need to develop, build, practice and hone these three characteristics if you will be a leader.
Trying to lead anything (much less a home) without any one of these characteristics will end in failure. Do you have these three? Do you know where to get them? (see James 1:5)
Husband Led Family Devotion Time
The Christian home is the most important institution in the world. God places the home first -- in time as well as in importance. It is the foundation upon which all other institutions are built; upon it the church and state will either stand or fall. What the homes are, the churches and schools are -- and the government will be. The home has the first responsibility' its influence is the greatest force in the life of a child. However, a Christian home is like a Christian teacher. Just because a person is a Christian and a teacher, this does not make him a Christian teacher. SO a home with people who profess to be Christians does not make it truly a Christian home. Eighty-five percent of evangelical Christians families do not regularly have family devotions of a regular basis. A Christian home should regularly have a family altar time. This is the time when the family gets together to read the Bible and pray. Husband, it is your responsibility to lead in a family devotional time with three characteristics -- PARENT LED, -- PRACTICALLY PLANNED -- and PURPOSEFUL.
Parent Led: The father is the protector , the provider, and the presider in the Christian home. The mother is to support the spiritual leadership of the husband. She is the vice president of the family corporation. Gen 18:19, Psa 78:5, Eph 6, Gen 7:7. Josh 24:15, ISam 2:17-25,4:11,17,8:1-3, IISam 18:33.
Practically Planned: Use these concepts, Bible Centered, Adapted to needs of the family, varying order and participants, specified time for the devotions, create a taste for spiritual things as per Proverbs "Raise up a child in the way he should go." . IITim 3:16-17, Eph 5:18, Col 3:15-17
Purposeful: 1) Salvation 2) Cleansed and kept from sin, 3) Growth, 4) Instruction continually, 5) Commendable Children (learn to sit and pay attention!) 6) Discernment 7) Magnify the Lord.
God Bless you as a Husband and Grant you the Wisdom for the Role.