Marriage VI - The Heritage of God = Children
Memory Verse: Proverbs 13:24 HE that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
This study is to acquaint you with the basics of the responsibility you undertake to rear children in your home. It directly conflicts with what our society has pumped into our heads since our birth, so clear your mind and pay particularly close attention to these Scriptures.
God's Order in the Home
Sociologists of all ages have directly contradicted God's Word concerning the sin nature in man. Today, still, they say things like "Our studies show that capitol punishment is not a deterrent to crime." God says that it is; they say that it is not. Who are you going to believe? In the rearing of your children the stakes are much higher, the results much more near term. They say do not punish, God says "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15) The all important question to you is, once more, "Who are your going to believe?" To say "I tried spanking and it didn't work for my child." Is to say God is wrong and the world and I are right. To dawdle in the middle will bring a horribly painful 18 years and a future filled with anguish Lets admit up front that God is right here and carefully, knowledgeably pursue the following of His directions.
The Blessing of Children?
How does Psalms 127: 3-5 describe our children? ______________________________________.
How are fathers commanded to bring up children in Ephesions 6:4? _________________________
Get your Dictionary and define:
What does the Bible teach about punishing a child in Heb 12:7-8___________________________
What does the Bible teach about spanking a child in Proverbs 23:13-14 ______________________
In Proverbs 29:15? _________________________________________________
Children can ruin a marriage, a home, a life.
But raised in God's way they can bring blessing untold.
Proverbs 29:17 says "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee ______________.
Yea, he shall give ______________ unto they soul."
Correcting a Child God's Way
A reason that the sociologist react to spanking as they do is because there have been numerous misuses. When we act in the flesh, in anger, in impatient haste, or in selfishness to correct a child we are outside of God's purposes. look quickly at these illustrations.
1) If you spank a child when you are angry you are in error.
2) If you strike a child when they are not expecting it, it is hasty and wrong.
3) If you spank a child without addressing the disobedience and expressing your love for them you are not correcting.
4) If you fail to spank a child you do not love the child (Prov 13:24)
5) There is much more to child reading than spanking.
Bill Rice wrote a book called "Love 'em Lick 'em and Learn 'em". If you are going to raise a child, do not do it without this book. It is very practical and addresses all the worlds arguments against doing it God's way.
God said to chasteneth him betimes. This entails doing it Early. Over 200 years ago Jean Roussear (1712-1778) wrote "Lacking all sense of right and wrong, a child can do nothing which is morally evil, or which merits either punishment or reproof." Again this directly contradicts God's instruction as well as blatant observation. From his first day in a home a child begins learning to manipulate parents to get his own way. Any parent knows (except perhaps some of us fathers) that a child quickly learns to cry for food, when not hungry, but knowing that mom will pick him up. (That's called lying, to get your own way, they did not need instructions to figure it our, it comes in our morally evil nature Miss Roussear.)
Again God says: Pro. 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Bill Rice records for us: "There was a Texas preacher named B.B. Crim...He was a rough and tumble cowboy preacher who preached in great revivals... Somebody said: "Dr. Crim, do you believe in spanking children?" He said: "Of course!" They said, "Well how soon do you think you should spank your children?" He said: "Well, you ought to wait about a week to spank a little girl but you'd better give a baby boy a lickin' the day he's born."
Of course he was joking (is that hyperbole?) but he was right to emphasize the fact that parents should begin training children early.
Somebody says: "well, when should you spank a little child?" The moment he knows that you say "don't and he does. He has bought and paid for a paddling."
I had a co-worker who knew I was a youth director. I observed his defiant 8 year old son, who did nothing his father told him and was big enough to do his parents physical harm. He asked if I thought spanking him was the solution. He never had spanked or disciplined his children, never forced them to obey him because the sociologists said that would ruin his children's creativity. Now, the father was terrified of an 8 year old who had been thrown out of 2 schools for disobedience and had beat his mother for telling him what to do. He wanted to change his tactics from what the world had taught him. What could he do now? The sociologists hate our tactics but they love our results. Purpose to do it right from the start.
Spanking or Other Means to an end?
Again from Bill Rice- Somebody says, "Well, I just think we ought to make Junior sit in the corner." Fine. And he'll be sitting there... getting madder every minute. You make him sit in a corner and he will think, "Boy, when I get big enough, pow! He will get it! I'll tell you right now..." No, No , why don't you get it settled ? Why in the world don't you just take and turn him over your knee and blister his britches and get the thing settled. You say: "Well, aren't there other ways to discipline?" Yes, there are, but I don't believe any of them work nearly as well as this. This is how God told us to do it. You can take away the allowance, and there may be a time you ought to do it. You may ground him. You may turn off the T.V., and that's a real good idea. But spank him. Spank him! This is what God says to do. Paddle him. Get it settled.
I have often heard young parents say; "Oh, we tried spanking him, and it doesn't work." But God's word says that it will work. I will either believe that God was right and they did something wrong, or that God is wrong and they are learning a better means. What would you believe? Let's look at some important principles.
From Bill Rice's Book "Love'em Lick'em Learn'em"
When my wife and I were married and expecting the first baby, we read everything we could find in the Bible about parents and children. We made some rules concerning spanking. Perhaps they may be of help to other parents.
1. Talk. Try to anticipate things that might happen. that might go wrong. Don't be quick to spank them. Be quick to talk and try your best to talk them into doing right. "Don't do that any more, son, you mustn't do it any more." Talk! there are a few things where there was no second chance. We live on a ranch. If a house catches on fire it is very serious.. So our children simply could not play with matches. The fire department can't get to u. So we warned our children that playing with matches was a spanking matter.
2. Keep your word. Don't ever, ever get into the habit of saying, "Now, if you do it I'll spank you. Now don't do that again. All right , the next time I'll spank you." No, if you ever say; "I will spank you if you do it," spank him! If your mother-in-law is there, if the governor is there, no matter who is there... If you say you will spank him, do it.
3. Husband and wife agree. Don't ever argue in front of the kids. If one thinks he shouldn't be spanked and the other one thinks he should, say, "Go to your room. We will call you." Talk it over. You will probable agree. You say you won't spank him or you will. Call him and tell him. If you can't make up your mind and you disagree, then spank him. Every time spank him. Anything is better than that he divide his father and mother. Don't ever let a kid get the idea that one of you is going to be his lawyer and if he can just get to you, you'll take up for him. Don't ever do that.
4. Next thing, co-operate. One of you hold him and one of you spank. Your child ought to be made to realize - in our home we serve God, we do it right. Make him realize he is being punished because it's right - not because one is mad and one isn't. It's a matter of right and wrong and both parents are in favor of seeing that he does right.
5. Spank soundly. Don't ever slap him, or hit him, or kick him. Not ever. Spank your son or your daughter on the buttocks. Hard. And Long. Don't ever use your hand. It'll sting and you'll quit... If you've ever spanked your child and he's mad at you, then you didn't spank him. If you've ever spanked him and he gets up and hits you, you didn't spank him.
You spank until you get the thing settled. And no matter how much yelling and promising don't stop. He's had his opportunity to show whether he will or won't do right. If you ever have to start spanking, keep it up. Make it a sound one while you are at it. Always. Don't have little bitty eensy weensy itsy bitsy make'em-mad-and-cry spankings. "Let not your soul spare for his crying," the Bible says. A psychiatrist heard me preach and she said, "Dr. Rice, if my father had spanked me I'd have hated him for the rest of my life." I replied, "Lady, if my dad had spanked you, you'd have loved him to death, just for stopping!" Spank Soundly.
6. Talk after the spanking. Explain again how vital it is that children obey parents. Tell him how much you love him and how concerned you are for him.
7. Be consistent! And the last point, do it again when you need to. Be consistent!
Child Rearing 101
This is but introductory material to pursued you to raise your Child "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." To be a Godly parent you will need to study far more of His Word and His principles. Decide now that you will study and follow his plan, instead of the sociologists plan, your mom's plan, or Hollywood's plan. Although I say I have hundreds of books, I only have one written by God. Let me encourage you to get and study several Godly books on the home and on child rearing. May God bless you as you follow his plan.
Child Discipline with 7 Rules
1. Talk Before
2. Keep your Word.
3. Husband and Wife Agree.
4. Husband and Wife Co-operate.
5. Spank Soundly. Hard. Long.
6. Talk after Spanking. Pray.
7. Be Consistent!
Pro. 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.